Most Popular

  • Sexual Healing
    Sad stories and otherwise freaky tales from Florida's last sexual surrogate
  • To Hug a Porcupine
    Three little boys set out to destroy the parents who loved them. This isn't how adoption is supposed to work.
  • Smoked Tuna in the Can
    He was the first big bust of the War on Drugs. That and two bits won't get you a cup of coffee.
  • Backbreaker
    A half-kilo of blow, machine-gun blasts, and a millionaire chiropractor. Does this make sense?
  • Rubber Doll
    Polite businesswoman by day, international fetish icon by night

Recent Articles

Recent Articles by Makkada Selah

National Features >

  • Houston Press

    A Dirty Picture

    What mainstream publishers don't want you to know about door-to-door magazine sales.

    By Craig Malisow

  • Riverfront Times

    Welcome to Cougar Heaven

    When these huntresses on are on the prowl, the prey very much wants to be caught.

    By Unreal

  • Broward-Palm Beach New Times

    Sweet Deal

    How rumored McCain veep choice Charlie Crist wants to bail out Big Sugar.

    By Bob Norman

  • SF Weekly

    All-American Girls

    Are Asian women getting their jawbones cut to look whiter?

    By Lauren Smiley

Subtropical Spin

The Glamorest Life (Slip-n-Slide/Atlantic)

By Makkada Selah

Published on October 13, 2005

One thing's for sure: Trina's Glamorest Life leaves no room for the blues. The songs on her third album are rife with tribulations, but Miami's diamond princess remains completely nonplussed. When an unfaithful lover attempts to entangle the rapstress in tearful sentiments in "Here We Go," the most heartache the Southern gurl/wild woman can muster is a relieved "I thank God I ain't get that tattoo." Only slightly annoyed, she flips the script and uses the remainder of the song (a souped-up interpolation of Force MD's "Tender Love") to spit a disinterested battle rhyme cracking on rival Jackie O's "blah lines for her mammy." Talk about ex to next.

If anything, this bitch is married to Miami, leaving the men in her life vying for attention. She gives love to her property in Sans Souci ("Sexy Girl" ), the shops in Bal Harbor ("Throw It Back"), and the nightlife on South Beach ("So Fresh"). The hook in "Shake" even references local radio personality Dr. Kiki. Still, more than a few guest MCs try and holla during the 13-track affair -- Snoop Dogg, Rick Ross, Jazze Pha, Lil' Scrappy, and Lil' Wayne are just a partial list of those who want to "hit it in the worst way." Lil' Wayne's rap is hella funky in "Don't Trip;" perhaps it's the thrill of robbing the cradle, but Trina makes it as clear as her champagne glass that unless you're a high-rolling "investor who can eat [her] like Hannibal Lecter," don't waste her time.

Soaring to new heights of lyrical mastery in The Glamorest Life, Trina still flaunts her ample "fat back." But of all her physical assets, her boisterous, brazen, homegrown drawl is by far the most banging of them all. That enthralling voice serves this third opus well, highlighting a mature, no-nonsense intelligence, a commitment to financial independence, and a take-it-or-leave-it attitude toward sex.