Fat Chance

Perhaps not for long, though. Dutra has been attending Overeaters Anonymous meetings for about four months, he says, and in that time has lost 35 pounds. It's a struggle. "I've always been heavy," he says. "I've always turned to food to feel better; for every emotion, there's a food to quell it."

Most of the men he meets seem to want one-night stands with a large guy, he says. But he's optimistic that the right guy is out there.

"I want to find somebody that, if I'm able to lose weight, they won't be like See ya!"

The first time Russell Dutra went to an OA meeting, he says, he didn't make it past the front door of the Gay and Lesbian Community Center in Wilton Manors. The second time, he took a deep breath and walked inside.

There, he met David Milam, a 43-year-old chub turned chaser who's six feet tall and weighs 210 pounds. Milam has close-cut hair, a coy smile, and a dry sense of humor. He has always liked big men, he says — he'd just rather not be one himself anymore. In January 2006, fed up with his limited mobility, he decided to diet and exercise. He lost 240 pounds.

On a recent Friday evening, Milam is finishing an iced coffee with Dutra at Stork's Café in Wilton Manors. Dutra has a brownie, which he offers to share. Milam declines. The gray plastic chairs on the café's deck are narrow, with armrests. Before he lost weight, Milam notes, he wouldn't have fit in them.

Milam takes a stab at explaining why he likes big men. For starters, there's more to hold onto, he says. And he can get rougher with them. "You can pound the hell out of a big person and they can take it."

That doesn't mean he has to be in control, he adds. He likes to please his partners. He enjoys the challenge of finding a large man's sweet spots in the folds of skin. And he likes to feel crushed: "Especially if you get them on top of you, the weight of it will take your breath away."

Big guys often aren't very flexible. Sometimes as they romp, Milam says, furniture gets broken.

But it's worth it. "They appreciate sex more. I don't know why — maybe because they're not gettin' any. I know I wasn't when I was big."

You have a fat fetish, Dutra tells Milam.

Milam disagrees: "To me, toe licking, fucking in high heels — that's a fetish."