Broward-Palm Beach New Times | Complete Issue

Dirty Type

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

Pompano Beach residents have the filthiest fucking mouths in the whole state of Florida. Well, maybe not mouths but fingers. That's confirmed by Google Trends, a search tool that allows users to see which countries, states, and cities are typing in certain terms. And North Broward web users have ...

Black Tide

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

It's safe to assume it was the first time a bunch of West Kendallites appeared in the New York Post's infamous "Page Six" gossip column. And it's especially notable because they did so for indirectly inciting a minor riot in L.A. alongside a famously celebrated, then disgraced, then semire...

Sugar Daddy

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

Florida Gov. Charlie Crist's plan to buy U.S. Sugar for $1.75 billion has been described by Florida newspapers as "bold," "ambitious," and "grand."

Now it's time to throw "stupid" and "irresponsible" into the mix.

It's true that the deal, in its broad strokes, may look like a mast...

Letters for July 17-23, 2008

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

We Are So Sensitive

I just wanted to compliment Michael J. Mooney's well-written, sensitive, and insightful article ("Sexual Healing," July 3) on a subject many people would like to learn more about but are afraid or embarrassed to do so. My wife and I have been married 30 yea...

Bach and Ready to Rock

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

I've been singing 'We are the youth gone wild' for 20 years, man... I'm fuckin' 40!" Sebastian Bach exclaims over the phone before telling me to hold on a second. There are some voices in the background, then some shuffling sounds, and then he's back. "Sorry, dude; I'm getting my ha...

Country-Fried Soul

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

On a recent Saturday night, the tiny space of Sweat Records in Miami's Little Haiti is filled with curious scene kids awaiting an avant-garde performance. At first, it's unclear if any of the local bands are going to be worth a damn, but there's an audible buzz that picks up once members of the M...

Global Shakedown

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

There must be something about the summer months. It seems like every other bubble-wrapped package that shows up in the mail these days is stuffed with offshore audible treats. While I obviously can't review them all, here are a couple of albums that have been banging loudly at the New Times o...

Head Spins: Danny Daze

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

It's doubtful that DJ Danny Daze loves the road above all else, but he sure seems to be on it a lot. Mondays at Tabu in Vegas, Saturdays at either Slide in San Francisco or Pittsburgh's Privilege, the cat's back and forth from the airport more times in a week than most folk are in a year. And tha...

Seminole Smackjack

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

I'll just come out and say it: The Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino horrifies me. It's a depraved place full of slot machines, waitresses in hot pants, and plenty of people betting way more than they can afford. But that grand little nation of contrived decadence also fascinates me. Befor...

The Grape Merchant

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

The smooth jazz sets the tone. The bartenders keep their distance, approaching only when called. And the wine is taste-tested before it's added to the list. It's little things like this that make the Grape Merchant a necessary stop if not the perfect spot for date night. If you know what you're d...

Jacob Jeffries Band

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

Listening to the music of the Jacob Jeffries Band is better than any antidepressant you can imagine. The talented foursome is one of my favorite local bands right now, as their songs and stage presence manage to keep everyone at their shows in a good mood. How do they do it? Maybe it's Jacob's kn...

Fourth Dimension

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

There's no denying that Fourth Dimension is one of South Florida's hardest-working reggae bands. The group gigs constantly — at least four or five nights out of the week — playing all three counties in South Florida (none of that Miami-only bullshit), and they're actually worth a damn...

Willie Nelson and Wynton Marsalis

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

Did music really used to be less complicated, or does it just seem that way? Maybe it's just that life used to be less complicated, and music is simply a mirror of its times. Or something like that. Whatever the case, Two Men With the Blues was recorded live at Rose Hall in New York's Lincoln...

Flamenco in the Summer

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

Summer's heavy precipitation might have you thinking Fort Lauderdale's Flamenco in the Sun Festival is a misnomer. Then again, that brow-beating Andalusian sunlight is probably what got the Southern Spanish region's rhythm-makers crying long, mercy-begging ojalas in the first place. With all that...

Sigur Rós

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

Sigur Rós' latest is positively festooned with danger signs: first album to be mainly recorded outside its home base of Iceland, first to feature a track sung in English, and the first co-produced by a big-shot dial-twister (Flood, of Depeche Mode fame). Somehow, though, this series of seemin...

G.B.H.

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

It's ironic, of course, that consistency, longevity, and predictability have come to be the hallmarks of "true punk," but that's where we are more than three decades after Johnny Rotten blew his nose all over things. As Jello Biafra recently sang, there's all these bands singing their "hits fr...

Pinetop Perkins

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500
At 95 years of age, Mississippi Delta-born pianist Pinetop Perkins is still an active performer and one who is still able to hit his piano's keys with amazing dexterity. The proof is on this beauty of a blues CD, in which the veteran shares the spotlight with an array of friends and admirers. Take, ...

Zappa Plays Zappa

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

Dweezil Zappa can't stop talking about his late father. "Frank's music just needs to be heard," he says. Alongside brother Ahmet and several of Frank's former sidemen, Dweezil now re-creates his dad's music on the Zappa Plays Zappa tour, featuring material from the elder Zappa's mid-'70s heyday. ...

Aimee Mann

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500
It takes only a cursory listen to Aimee Mann's alluring new album to affirm that the only thing possibly forestalling a commercial connection would be its inexplicably feisty title. Too bad; the songs on this disc are among the best of her ever-evolving career. While there's some similarity to Mann'...

Light My Fire?

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

We SoFloridians have got to make the best of our rainy, hurricane-whipped summers, so it makes sense that we're suddenly all about barbecue. Even upscale restaurants like Johnny V in Lauderdale and Oakwood Grill in Palm Beach Gardens have jumped into the game, to say nothing of the old standbys.<...

Heart of Darkness

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

What a brooding pleasure it is to return to Christopher Nolan's Gotham City — if "pleasure" is the right word for a movie that gazes so deeply and sometimes despairingly into the souls of restless men. In The Dark Knight, the continuation of Nolan's superb 2005 reboot of the Batman f...

Thank You for the Music

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500
I've always enjoyed ABBA — not in that post-hoc, so-bad-it's-good hip way but innocently, the way I like Phil Spector. To this day, howling along in my car to that echoing, cascading, multiply overdubbed wall of sound makes me feel like a member of some dippy but joyous cathedral choir. So I w...

Christian Finnegan

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500
When VH1 decided to stop playing Michael Bolton videos due to lack of interest, it needed something to fill the programming gaps. At first, it attempted to remain a music channel with shows like Behind the Music and Pop-up Video, but over the years the station mutated into a domain fil...

Ebony Chorale of the Palm Beaches performs a collection of Negro Spirituals

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500
If your sweet chariot ain’t swingin’ low on this glorious Sunday, head over to the Norton Museum of Art (1451 S. Olive Ave., West Palm Beach). That's where the renowned Ebony Chorale of the Palm Beaches, directed by Dr. Orville Lawton, will sing to the heavens today as “In the Hands o...

Miami Beach Bruthaz

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500
It’s hard to imagine, but even within a group whose emblem is an all-encompassing rainbow flag, more diversity is needed. If some of this summer’s Pride events looked more like Abercrombie & Fitch ads to you than a true showing of the populace, head to Miami Beach Bruthaz weekend. ...

Water: It Makes Stuff Grow

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500
There’s no denying that our earth is in peril. We’ve gotten used to easing through our daily routines — regardless of the strain placed on our natural resources. Yet we’re flabbergasted when wildfires race through the Everglades, hyperactive hurricane seasons dismantle our roofs,...

Chipper Shredder

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500
Chipper Jones’ season-long flirtation with the most hallowed of numbers in a sport full of them — that would be a batting average of .400, a figure rounder and more solid than even the ball itself — should make a nice side note as the Marlins cream the visiting Braves. <...

The Fall

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500
Director Tarsem Singh is probably most famous for vivisecting a horse. You remember the moment: it happened in the Jennifer Lopez shitfest known as The Cell, just as the Lopez character descended into the mind of a serial killer. The horse was sliced and diced by huge panels of glass that cam...

We’re Talkin’ Vérité, Baby

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500
The last time you heard the term cinéma vérité (cinema of truth) was in a film appreciation class in college. You got entranced by Dziga Vertov’s Man with a Movie Camera and rhapsodized about the loneliness of modern life after watching Umberto D. But <...

Hard Rock's Buy-In Charity Poker Tournament

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500
Gambling for charity is one of those weird oxymorons that doesn’t totally make sense, but is still fairly enticing. Case in point: The Buy-In Charity Poker Tournament. The second installment in the recurring series, taking place Friday through Saturday at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & C...

Dark Knight on IMAX

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500
So you’ve seen Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk, slogged through The Happening, and had a chuckle at Wall-E. And if you could say anything about this summer’s blockbusters movie season, it’s that it actually had some meat on its usually gaunt bones (well, e...

Sex, Drugs, and Rock Musical

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500
“Sodomy, Fellatio, Cunnilingus, Pederasty…” This may sound like a list of crimes, but they’re lyrics — from a musical. Clearly, we’re not talking Oklahoma! The Lake Worth Playhouse (713 Lake Ave., Lake Worth) invites all to their $100,000 Gala, a fundraiser with ...

Aquatic Life for Landlubbers

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500
You have an unbreakable bond with the sea, which is precisely why you contend with the often unnerving frustrations created by coastal living, like expensive real estate and billowing homeowner’s insurance premiums. Only to make matters more baffling, those financial pitfalls are keeping you fr...

Grow Up Already!

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500
Most American men handle mid-life crises in a traditional fashion: a new sports car, a hair transplant, or a catastrophic divorce. In Full Grown Men, a film by David Muno, the 35 year-old protagonist leaves his wife for Diggityland, his favorite theme park. With a childhood friend in t...

Crush Hot Pants Party

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500
It's hard to imagine why hot pants — those tight, stretchy shorts that are oh-so-good for showing off your oh-so-bads — ever went out of style. Think about it: They're hipper (though less practical) than zipper pants; way better looking than skorts (the combination of skirt and short); and...

GBS Customer Appreciation Day

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500
Fluorescent lighting doesn’t do your skin justice. And the stress of work deadlines? It’s adding to your continually puckering crow’s feet. Clearly, there’s only one solution to your dermatological woes: Take the day off and spend it at GBS (31 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale). ...

Paintings Beneath the Sea by Jason Mathias

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500
"Paintings Beneath the Sea by Jason Mathias" lets museumgoers catch a school of fish by the South Florida artist who has been featured at the International Game Fish Association museum hall of fame. Presenting his aquatic subjects realistically, the artist often renders their environments imp...

Use Your Illusion

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

Famed coloratura soprano Florence Foster Jenkins was 44 years old when her singing career began. It started with small recitals for her friends and carefully selected music lovers, and she likely attempted to cover up her budding celebrity from her disapproving mother. It was only with the old la...